THE SELF-CHANGE HABIT
How to transcend a disempowering thought pattern (this content is from my coach training curriculum)
The path to self-change is often long and uncertain, but it doesn’t have to be. Today I am going to share a shortcut, a mindfulness technique that can help speed the transition from growth edge to higher wisdom.
STEP ONE: BEFRIEND THE THOUGHT Let’s say that you feel the need to always be in control. The first step is to notice that part of yourself that wants control. Create a little distance, a little meta-awareness. Name the issue you’re dealing with. Tell yourself, “Wow! No matter the situation, I can never surrender control.” Befriend this part of your mind, and accept it. Even if it’s causing you problems, it is still a part of you – probably an overworked part of you!
STEP TWO: ASK THE THOUGHT TO MOVE AWAY Gently ask this part of you to step aside. Choose a metaphor that works for you. You could send your need for control on vacation – it could probably use a trip to the beach! If you’re feeling less extravagant, perhaps you could just treat it to a cup of coffee. Find an imaginative way to send the need somewhere else. The declipse can’t happen as long as your desire for control is eclipsing the wisdom.
SELF-CHANGE or DECLIPSE 3 STEP THREE: ENTER THE MIND’S INNER SKY Quiet your mind and enter a still, empty place. Like an orchestra conductor, bring all the noise down to silence. Sit in this blank quietude. You’ve got nothing to do and nowhere to go. You can think about this space as the inner sky. Buddhists describe this state as the “non-self.”
STEP FOUR: INTUITION REVEALS WISDOM After a few moments, your intuition will gently fill this space with higher wisdom. This is what we call the declipse. “Let go of control,” it may say. “It will be okay.” The forces inside you will find balance – the yin and yang in balance. You will be able to recognize that sometimes it is good to be in control, but other times it is good to let life happen.